These days, being an author is about so much more than just writing an actual book. Our job description now also includes working tirelessly at building our online presence.
But in trying to gather followers on all my various social media platforms, I’ve had to face up to some cold, hard facts. I will just never be as loved, followed and popular as this baby panda.
Because no matter how much blogging I do, no matter how many color-coded and carefully curated photos I take of myself holding a book, sipping a cappuccino and sporting a pair of literary themed hipster socks in a desaturated filter, I’ll just never be as popular as this fluffy black and white thing. No matter how many hashtag-vomits I send out into Twitterland, or pseudo-humble posts I write on Facebook that are meant to boast about my latest achievements without looking boastful, I’ll still never be as popular as this fluffy kitten dressed as a frog.
I won’t even be as popular as this ugly, angry little Chihuahua that looks like it needs to be tossed into a vat of holy water.
And as for this revolting Easter surprise from the fiery pits of demon infested hell…?
Nope. Still not as popular.
In fact, everywhere I look the internet is being taken over by viral animals. Angry hamsters, grumpy puppies, discontented dormice and moody marmosets?
Well, I am fighting back! Humans are being forcibly pushed aside in cyber -space and replaced by small fluffy things, or scaly reptiles wearing head attire. This is speciesism, and is as unacceptable as sexism and any of the other ism’s. That is why I have decided to start an organization called, “POOVA” People Opposed to Online Viral Animals.
It’s time for us humans to take back our power and stand up to sentiments like, “You wrote some books, SO WHAT, this baby panda sneezed and scared its mom and that’s why it deserves ten million more Likes than you!”
It’s time for us to realize that we can be just as cute and angry and confused and scared of cucumbers as these animals are.
Let’s stand up to these online animal usurpers and take back our power today. Share if you support the POOVA movement. And post a picture of yourself being just as good as those online animals.
*Jo Watson is a multi-award-winning author of romantic comedies. Her book Burning Moon is coming out in August this year and will be translated into French, German and Italian. Her books have been read over 18 Millions times online on Wattpad and she is represented my Erica Spellman of the Trident Media Group. You can pre-order her book here.